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Three Wolves Howling At The Moon Shirt – Super Seductive Powers

*KAPOW* The shirt appeared out of nowhere, it’s like running into a Pokemon  while your minding your own business circling in the grass.  I decide to do a little research on the shirt, and sure enough, this shirt posses special powers.  Dwight K Shrute knows the powers of the shirt, and it’s powers were showcased in the new Twilight movie.

Still not convinced that this shirt has special powers?  Read the reviews left by customers of the shirt.

Review by B. Govern “Bee-Dot-Govern”

This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Review by David Anderson

This isn’t so much as a garment as it is an aphrodisiac

Buy the Three Wolves Howling at the moon shirt here.
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